Ron Trainor

Okay .. so this morning to celebrate the first week of back to school, we took the girls to John’s place (of course) .. we really rarely go anymore as its now twice the cost and three times the effort .. but it was a nice treat … yummy food and feels good to go J 

 

SO .. we are paying the bill and a group of men come in for breakfast .. and one of them .. about 35-40 .. is the spitting image of your dad .. swear to God …   I tell Jon and he confirms .. wow seriously looks like our good friend./mentor/elder Ron ….  Brought tears to my eye .. I had to keep myself pinned together to stop from losing it.

 

Then in the car ride to school, I say just that ‘I had to keep myself from losing it” and the girls ask what I mean.  I explain to them about the likeness of the man, about our friend (you), her dad and the coming anniversary of his passing.  Then we have a rather candid conversation about your dad’s faith and about how of all the people to leave the earth early, he was the only one I know who could leave, knowing he was in good hands, about to meet his Creator .. that he passed with strong connections and faith…   

 

Then I remembered that in the moment when your Dad was passing from this world into ‘what none of us really know” (Alora’s words) .. I was sitting in the center of the little foot labyrinth I made in the front yard, candles lit, praying for you, for your family and for your Dad while I braided the labyrinth grass .. HE passed while I was doing this…  something I found out later and had to connect my time there with his passing …  so powerful for me -  something that because of the connections to 9-11 and now to your father has become what I do in the labyrinth..  I do not mow the grass.. but rather methodically and meditatively .. braid the energy of the walkers, the prayers into little bundles, which I then share with others …   WOOW…  

 

Your Dad holds my heart.. to this day.  Your Father …  my friend.

 

I send you light, and love and Joy .. knowing your father lived a good life and left behind goodness in you and all he touched.

 

With love

Shylene

Okay .. so this morning to celebrate the first week of back to school, we (Jonathan and I) took our daughters to John’s Place (our favorite resturant) .. we really rarely go anymore as its now twice the cost and three times the effort .. but it was a nice treat … yummy food and feels good to go J 

 

SO .. we are paying the bill and a group of men come in for breakfast .. and one of them .. about 35-40 .. is the spitting image of Ron.. swear to God …   I tell Jon and he confirms .. wow seriously looks like our good friend./mentor/elder Ron ….  Brought tears to my eye .. I had to keep myself pinned together to stop from losing it.

 

Then in the car ride to school, I say just that ‘I had to keep myself from losing it” and the girls ask what I mean.  I explain to them about the likeness of the man, about our friend (Carey), her dad and the coming anniversary of his passing.  Then we have a rather candid conversation about Ron's faith and about how of all the people to leave the earth early, he was the only one I know who could leave, knowing he was in good hands, about to meet his Creator .. that he passed with strong connections and faith…   

 

Then I remembered that in the moment when Ron was passing from this world into ‘what none of us really know” (My oldest daugters words) .. I was sitting in the center of the little foot labyrinth I made in the front yard, candles lit, praying for my friend, for her family and for Ron's pain to gone , while I braided the labyrinth grass .. HE passed while I was doing this…  something I found out later and had to connect my time there with his passing …  so powerful for me -  something that because of the connections to 9-11 and now Ron- has become what I do in the labyrinth..  I do not mow the grass.. but rather methodically and meditatively .. braid the energy of the walkers, the prayers into little bundles, which I then share with others …   WOOW…  

 

Ron holds my heart.. to this day. Carey's Father …  my friend. 

Blessed Be on this the second annivesary of his passing.

xox

No Guarantees

 

The plans are made, goals in place

They know exactly where they’re going

The only problem with the human race

Is they don’t control the knowing

 

Knowing what tomorrow brings

Knowing storms and sorrow

Knowing the millions that will get hurt

Knowing how they pay back what they borrowed

 

Even though we have little control

Over events that have yet to happen

We shape our lives around our hopes

But often get caught napping

 

We promise this and promise that

All based on our past

It is all supposed to repeat itself

But seldom does it last

 

Security, is what we build around

Written contracts guaranteed

Yet life is the opposite of that

As we fall to our knees

 

How can we guarantee

Anything beyond this moment

For life is in the Master’s hands

And certainly we do not own it!

 

Written by Ronald Trainor

Dad, it pains me to live life without you. I often drift away in thought wondering how to get close to your spirit. Where are you, what are you doing, where do we go when we leave this earth? Do you remember me, will we see eachother again, all these questions and the one person who used to answer these with such convincing faith was you. Now there's nothing, only what you taught me to believe. I trust you. I trust that your belief system is the path I too should follow. Everything in retrospect begins to control my thoughts, i know what is - is and what will be will be but there must have been things I could have done to prevent you from leaving us so early. Dad...my Pappa, please bless me with children who carry your soul, we need more people on this earth who carry the heart you did. You did the best you knew how, that's all we can do. Its confusing here on earth, its hard, its beautiful, its sad, its a blessing, again, its confusing and we all wish we had the answers. I cling to you still, I always will. I love you so very much, it simply pains me.

Dad, here I am again. Its time for me to sleep but as I quiet all i have are memories of you. I try so hard not to cry because once I start there is no end, not to remember all the good all the bad, all the misunderstood all the understood and the gift of you. I so desperately miss you. How many times I want to call you, to hear your voice, to touch you, to see you smile, to hear your wonderful laugh but you aren't here. Oh your voice, God I miss your voice. I try so hard to keep my head held high and be the woman you raised me to be but sometimes i want to get lost in you. You take up so much of my heart but its not enough. My Dad, my precious Dad, please...